so rare

that i get round to this.

well!

this weekend was the boston skillshare- one of the only things remaining in Boston which makes my world Good. learned how to Start Seeds, Pick Locks, Knit, Make a Gourd Banjo, and also taught a workshop on how to read music which a whopping three people attending(so i hope it helped them out).

had my first show at the new zeitgeist/axiom space a bit ago. most hopeful, yes! the show was great beCAUSE Thad Comstock played, holy motherfucker, what an amazing guitar playing microtonal-like human that man is. . . . . . an amazing MIX of humans came, too. what a better atmosphere prevails, lacking in yuppies, spoiled trust fund assholes, white boys who claim to be Gods Gift to Jazz, beer swill, and other such grotesqueries. and heidi's art shows have kicked ASS so far. . . .

next i sang an actual song with words, melody, and a 4/4 rhythm in public for teh first time, like, ever. . . . at teh encuentro 5 benefit. Natebox and Amatul never cease to amaze and astoudn em with their events, whcih draw together so very many communities of amazing people. i also got to play with Rain House of the Living Theater. . .. and heard lots and lots of local hip-hop, which i never had, from radicalized, ultra-cool people. . . . as well as eddy dyer, richard cambridge, bambu and co, many others. . . . . i have high hopes for this new space, which i hope will become the haven for activists and artists it wants to. . . .

what more? i played with dan levin again after a logn time of not seeing him even play, and andy mcwain, after i did a duo set with matt weston. also did a duo set out in easthampton, with a solo preceding. ..

and played a wonderous- if underattended- show at PA's lounge with really amazing music from providence. . . .one of the best things i've listened to live in a long while, that, yes. . . . . sometimes i think THATS where we should move to. . . .

what else?

went to new york city and saw gordon and charlotte's opera. yee haw. wow.

ah! more shows than i can count- i am dizzy to recall them all, yeow!

but all the same. . . . I am still struggling to find my place here, since the one we all spent years building was stolen from us by a certain spoiled trust fund baby. the improvised music scene here should be astounding, given some of teh folks who live here, but it has sort of dried all out in many ways. . .. .perhaps due to high rents and puritanical entertainment liscencing rules, perhaps due to classism and teh presence of insaely expensive music conservatories, perhaps because of opportunists calling festival organizers racist for not bookign them often ro prominantly enough, or maybe even teh very high standrads which make the improvied music players here so fuckign brilliant in the first place- who knows. but i lack in further ideas to improve the situation any. the cabaret/old music scene has so far really not wanted me amongst them either- nor the proffessors and ethnomusicologists who are into the same kinds of balkan/greek/turkish/etc music I dig.

When i ask, gee, am i playing not well enough, i always hear to the contrary. i have never yet had anyone tell me i had not played well and therefore would not be a part of their band/group/scene. when i ask other people, i hear consistently- in fact i never hear otherwise- that they have never heard anyone say anything but good things about the way i play music. so unless people are that terrified of critisicing another person, even when asked, that's not it.

i've seen people use prettier, skinnier, younger women instead. i've seen people use folks who were trendier, had some sort of coolness cred, or had a Space to showcase things in- even if they didn't play so well. i even saw a band i had relatively desparately wanted to be in NOT turn on a micropphone for someone who was clearly there to be a pretty face. There she stood, playing away, looking pretty, and no one could hear a damned thing she played(which might even have been for the better, but is still pretty fucking sexist, cruel, and grotesque). . . . why are so many musicians such tremendous assholes? is it nessasary?

Boston's "Cabaret" Scene. Cabaret my ass. . . . . aristide bruant was the fucking ORIGINAL cabaret singer. he was NOT comely, annd spent his days hanging out with prisoners, fuck-ups, and used up prostitutes at the paris prisons and montmarte. he expressed open disdain for the poeple who came to hear him sing. he was not Pretty. he was not Cool. and god-damn, what about some of the other folks? but thats the world now- everything is an imitation. Small Town USA is now a disney exhibit, because the REAL small town is all shut down factories and walmart and so forth. . . . . yuck yuck yuck. . . . the original cabaret performers everyone is imitating were NOT second rate computer programers and website designers, thats for damn sure. . . even Rouseu was a postal clerk.

--sigh--

at all events, something i do seems to place me squarely on the OUTSIDE of everything i try to enter into. . .i dare nto leave boston until i learn what this is, or it may well be a mute excercise.

and!

my car has six inches of standing water on the passenger side floor. and is still running! she's a trooper.